I read this week's cover story of TIME magazine about "tiger mothers," the now-popular euphemism for strict Chinese parents. Some of the measures taken to discipline children are shocking, like calling a kid "garbage" or saying that second place is "disgraceful." But a lot of it really resonated with me. Specifically, I really am wondering if we are raising a nation of wimps, and even more frightening, a church of wimps.
When I was in youth ministry professionally, I kept feeling like I had to satisfy appetites that would never be satisfied. And I got very tired of having to be gimmicky to get kids to follow Christ. A part of me always admired the Chinese churches around us (in Arcadia, CA there are a lot), because their kids always seemed so well-behaved, polite, and dedicated. Now, granted, they tended to be more dedicated to school than their faith, but I also saw that the tireless and hyper-focused work ethic they brought to their schoolwork ended up in their spiritual discipline as well.
I wonder if we need more "tiger churches". It's not about whether Chinese culture or American culture are better, but about how close we are to realizing our purpose in the Kingdom of God. God told Moses that He would do amazing things through Israel if they obeyed Him. We see that caveat throughout the Bible: faith is tied to obedience. We must create kids and adults who are unyieldingly obedient to Jesus in order to see the power of God unleashed upon a broken and needy world that is crying out for Him. I wonder if we have too low of standards for our youth and treat them as too fragile. Here are a few things I learned from this article:
1. Assume strength, not fragility, and kids will believe they are strong, too
2. Praise hard work rather than inherent talent or intelligence, and kids will relish challenges rather than shy away from them. They will also connect their strength with their hard work rather than puffing themselves up with pride.
3. Demand excellence in everything, and they will live up to that standard. We must have expectations high enough for kids to fail, so they can learn how to do so gracefully.
Kids at church should respect their pastors, listen during sermons, be encouraging to each other, bring their Bibles, etc....we need to start expecting these things and teach kids the expectations, something I didn't do in youth ministry for fear of driving them away. Our kids hunger for a higher standard, something to live up to. Let's give it to them.
